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Alice's September Song is the 23rd episode of Season 2 of The Brady Bunch, and the 48th overall episode of the series. Written by Elroy Schwartz and directed by Oscar Rudolph, it first aired 12 March 1971 on ABC.

Short Summary[]

Alice's old high school boyfriend, Mark Millard comes to town to rekindle their relationship, and then presents her with a shady investment proposal that causes Mike and Carol to be suspicious of his intentions.


Alice receives a surprise telephone call from Mark Millard, her old high school boyfriend. She hasn't seen him since those days, but he wants to see her. Despite casually dating Sam, Alice decides to go out with Mark to see if that old spark is still there. Mark is as handsome and charming as Alice remembers. He wines and dines her, and she thinks he will soon pop the question, which if he does, she is not sure how she will answer because of Sam. While he doesn't pop the question, he does casually mention attending meetings about a prospective business investment, which will yield a profit if invested in, which excites Alice as well.

While Alice is preparing to go to the bank to withdraw money from her bank account, she mentions the investment opportunity to Carol, who curiously asks about the business involved. Alice admits she has no idea, as she had got caught up in the moment, and didn't think to ask the necessary questions. Suspicious, Carol calls Mike and tells him about the shady investment, and Mike calls his friend from the district attorney's office and asks him to look up Mark Millard, and to come to the house to ask Alice some questions.

Later, Alice is shocked and answers: "I feel like such a fool." after Mike and Carol tell her what they learned about Mark Millard. He turned out to be a swindler - an incurable gambler who uses unsuspecting women to support himself. He was paying alimony to 5 wives, and trying to keep a jump ahead of the 6th - and Alice could have been the 7th! Alice answered: "That's what I call making 7 the hard way." When Mark arrives, Mike tells him what he had done, and that his friend is on his way over. Mark tries to leave, but the doorbell rings, and he turns around to the back door. Sam shows up at the back door with a frozen leg of lamb, which Mark accidentally runs into, and is knocked out. Sam apologizes to Alice for the accident, but Alice tells Sam that she wished he'd been carrying a whole side of beef, and she asks him to put the frozen leg of lamb into the freezer. She sees the watering can and pours the water over his face to revive him, and Mike, Carol, Sam, and Mike's friend from the district attorney's office watch.

Afterward, the boys, with Mike's help, finish working on building a model airplane, but can't get it to fly in the yard. Sam and Alice have a picnic date in the park, and they take the boys and the girls with them to the park so they can watch them fly it.